Communication

Two-way process of reaching mutual understanding, in which participants not only exchange (encode-decode) information, news, ideas and feelings but also create and share meaning. In general, communication is a means of connecting people or places. In business, it is a key function of management an organization cannot operate without communication between levels, departments and employees. See also communications.

The imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium: television is an effective means of communication at the moment I am in communication with London

Effective communication is the process through which a message is passed to the intended recipient and it is understood by him or her, thus eliciting the required response. It involves the use of body language, gestures, listening skills and emotional awareness.

Process/Structure of Communication Systems

Summary: An introduction to the fundamental model of communication, from the generation of the signal at the source through a noisy channel to reception of the signal at the sink.

The fundamental model of communications is portrayed in Figure 1. In this fundamental model, each message-bearing signal, exemplified by [Math Processing Error], is analog and is a function of time. A system operates on zero, one, or several signals to produce more signals or to simply absorb them (Figure 2). In electrical engineering, we represent a system as a box, receiving input signals (usually coming from the left) and producing from them new output signals. This graphical representation is known as a block diagram. We denote input signals by lines having arrows pointing into the box, output signals by arrows pointing away. As typified by the communications model, how information flows, how it is corrupted and manipulated, and how it is ultimately received is summarized by interconnecting block diagrams: The outputs of one or more systems serve as the inputs to others.

In the communications model, the source produces a signal that will be absorbed by the sink. Examples of time-domain signals produced by a source are music, speech, and characters typed on a keyboard. Signals can also be functions of two variables—an image is a signal that depends on two spatial variables—or more—television pictures (video signals) are functions of two spatial variables and time. Thus, information sources produce signals. In physical systems, each signal corresponds to an electrical voltage or current. To be able to design systems, we must understand electrical science and technology. However, we first need to understand the big picture to appreciate the context in which the electrical engineer works.

In communication systems, messages—signals produced by sources—must be recast for transmission. The block diagram has the message [Math Processing Error] passing through a block labeled transmitter that produces the signal [Math Processing Error]. In the case of a radio transmitter, it accepts an input audio signal and produces a signal that physically is an electromagnetic wave radiated by an antenna and propagating as Maxwell's equations predict. In the case of a computer network, typed characters are encapsulated in packets, attached with a destination address, and launched into the Internet.

From the communication systems “big picture” perspective, the same block diagram applies although the systems can be very different. In any case, the transmitter should not operate in such a way that the message [Math Processing Error] cannot be recovered from [Math Processing Error]. In the mathematical sense, the inverse system must exist, else the communication system cannot be considered reliable. (It is ridiculous to transmit a signal in such a way that no one can recover the original. However, clever systems exist that transmit signals so that only the “in crowd” can recover them. Such crytographic systems underlie secret communications.)

Transmitted signals next pass through the next stage, the evil channel. Nothing good happens to a signal in a channel: It can become corrupted by noise, distorted, and attenuated among many possibilities. The channel cannot be escaped (the real world is cruel), and transmitter design and receiver design focus on how best to jointly fend off the channel's effects on signals. The channel is another system in our block diagram, and produces [Math Processing Error], the signal received by the receiver. If the channel were benign (good luck finding such a channel in the real world), the receiver would serve as the inverse system to the transmitter, and yield the message with no distortion.

However, because of the channel, the receiver must do its best to produce a received message [Math Processing Error] that resembles [Math Processing Error] as much as possible. Shannonshowed in his 1948 paper that reliable—for the moment, take this word to mean error-free—digital communication was possible over arbitrarily noisy channels. It is this result that modern communications systems exploit, and why many communications systems are going “digital.”

 The module on Information Communication details Shannon's theory of information, and there we learn of Shannon's result and how to use it.

Finally, the received message is passed to the information sink that somehow makes use of the message. In the communications model, the source is a system having no input but producing an output; a sink has an input and no output.

Understanding signal generation and how systems work amounts to understanding signals, the nature of the information they represent, how information is transformed between analog and digital forms, and how information can be processed by systems operating on information-bearing signals. This understanding demands two different fields of knowledge. One is electrical science: How are signals represented and manipulated electrically? The second is signal science: What is the structure of signals, no matter what their source, what is their information content, and what capabilities does this structure force upon communication systems?

 TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

Communication may be of different types depending upon the context in which the term communication is used. The important types of communication are

Four Types of Communication
Communication is the process of exchanging information in the form of messages, symbols, thoughts, signs, and opinions. There are mainly four types of communication, which are used in varying ways depending on the medium used or the way in which information is exchanged.



It would be extremely hard to imagine a world without some form of interpersonal interaction. This interaction or act of sharing information is known as communication.

Some of the basic ways by which we communicate with one another is through speech, sign language, body language, touch, and eye contact.

These means of communication are used for transferring information from one entity to the other, and always involve a sender and receiver. The cycle of communication is said to be complete only when the receiver has understood the sender's message and intent. 

Communication of information, messages, opinions, and thoughts can be done with the aid of different communicative aids such as books, Internet, smartphones etc.

There are mainly four types of communication which are used in various ways to convey the final message to the receiver.

Verbal Communication

Verbal communication include sounds, words, language, and speech. Speaking is an effective way of communicating and helps in expressing our emotions in words. This form of communication is further classified into four types, which are:

1. Intrapersonal Communication
This form of communication is extremely private and restricted to ourselves. It includes the silent conversations we have with ourselves, wherein we juggle roles between the sender and receiver who are processing our thoughts and actions. This process of communication when analyzed can either be conveyed verbally to someone or stay confined as thoughts.

2. Interpersonal Communication
This form of communication takes place between two individuals and is thus a one-on-one conversation. Here, the two individuals involved will swap their roles of sender and receiver in order to communicate in a clearer manner.

3. Small Group Communication
This type of communication can take place only when there are more than two people involved. Here the number of people will be small enough to allow each participant to interact and converse with the rest. Press conferences, board meetings, and team meetings are examples of group communication. Unless a specific issue is being discussed, small group discussions can become chaotic and difficult to interpret by everybody. This lag in understanding information completely can result in miscommunication.

4. Public Communication
This type of communication takes place when one individual addresses a large gathering of people. Election campaigns and public speeches are example of this type of communication. In such cases, there is usually a single sender of information and several receivers who are being addressed.

Nonverbal Communication

➜ Nonverbal communication manages to convey the sender's message without having to use words.

➜ This form of communication supersedes all other forms because of its usage and effectiveness. Nonverbal communication involves the use of physical ways of communication, such as tone of the voice, touch, and expressions.

➜ Symbols and sign language are also included in nonverbal communication. Body posture and language convey a lot of nonverbal messages when communicating verbally with someone.

➜ Folded arms and crossed legs are some of the defensive nonverbal signals conveyed by people. Shaking hands, patting and touching, express feelings of intimacy. Facial expressions, gestures and eye contact are all different ways of communication. Creative and aesthetic nonverbal forms of communication include music, dancing and sculpturing.

Written Communication

➜ Written communication is the medium through which the message of the sender is conveyed with the help of written words.

➜ Letters, personal journals, e-mails, reports, articles, and memos are some forms of written communication.

➜ Unlike other forms of communication, written messages can be edited and rectified before it is communicated to the receiver. Thereby, making written communication an indispensable part of informal and formal communication.

➜ This form of communication encapsulates features of visual communication as well, especially when the messages are conveyed through electronic devices such as laptops, phones, and visual presentations that involve the use of text or words.

Visual Communication

➜ This form of communication involves the visual display of information, wherein the message is understood or expressed with the help of visual aids. For example, topography, photography, signs, symbols, maps, colors, posters, banners and designs help the viewer understand the message visually.

➜ Movies and plays, television shows and video clips are all electronic form of visual communication.

➜ Visual communication also involves the transfer of information in the form of text, which is received through an electronic medium such as a computer, phone, etc.

➜ Icons and emoticons are a form of visual communication. When these icons are used in a public place, phone or computer, they instruct the user about their meaning and usage.

➜ The greatest example of visual communication is the World Wide Web which communicates with the masses, using a combination of text, design, links, images, and color. All of these visual features require us to view the screen in order to understand the message being conveyed.

Media communication is developing at a meteoric rate in order to ensure clarity and to eliminate any ambiguity. The aforementioned four types of communication have played a vital role and continue to do so, in bridging the gap between people, commerce, education, health care, and entertainment.

Nonverbal Communication

Table 12.2 Don’t Use That Tone with Me!

Placement of the emphasis	What it means
I did not tell John you were late.	Someone else told John you were late.
I did not tell John you were late.	This did not happen.
I did not tell John you were late.	I may have implied it.
I did not tell John you were late.	But maybe I told Sharon and José.
I did not tell John you were late.	I was talking about someone else.
I did not tell John you were late.	I told him you still are late.
I did not tell John you were late.	I told him you were attending another meeting.

Changing your tone can dramatically change your meaning.

Body Language

A simple rule of thumb is that simplicity, directness, and warmth convey sincerity. And sincerity is key to effective communication. A firm handshake, given with a warm, dry hand, is a great way to establish trust. A weak, clammy handshake conveys a lack of trustworthiness. Gnawing one’s lip conveys uncertainty. A direct smile conveys confidence.

Eye Contact

In business, the style and duration of eye contact considered appropriate vary greatly across cultures. In the United States, looking someone in the eye (for about a second) is considered a sign of trustworthiness.

Facial Expressions

The human face can produce thousands of different expressions. These expressions have been decoded by experts as corresponding to hundreds of different emotional states. ^[8] Our faces convey basic information to the outside world. Happiness is associated with an upturned mouth and slightly closed eyes; fear with an open mouth and wide-eyed stare. Flitting (“shifty”) eyes and pursed lips convey a lack of trustworthiness. The effect of facial expressions in conversation is instantaneous. Our brains may register them as “a feeling” about someone’s character.

Posture

The position of our body relative to a chair or another person is another powerful silent messenger that conveys interest, aloofness, professionalism—or lack thereof. Head up, back straight (but not rigid) implies an upright character. In interview situations, experts advise mirroring an interviewer’s tendency to lean in and settle back in her seat. The subtle repetition of the other person’s posture conveys that we are listening and responding.

Touch

The meaning of a simple touch differs between individuals, genders, and cultures. In Mexico, when doing business, men may find themselves being grasped on the arm by another man. To pull away is seen as rude. In Indonesia, to touch anyone on the head or touch anything with one’s foot is considered highly offensive. In the Far East, according to business etiquette writer Nazir Daud, “it is considered impolite for a woman to shake a man’s hand.” ^[9] Americans, as we have noted, place great value in a firm handshake. But handshaking as a competitive sport (“the bone-crusher”) can come off as needlessly aggressive, at home and abroad.

Space

Anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the term proxemics to denote the different kinds of distance that occur between people. These distances vary between cultures. The figure below outlines the basic proxemics of everyday life and their meaning: ^[10]

Recognizing barriers to effective communication is a first step in improving communication style.  Do you recognize these barriers from your own personal and professional experience? Encoding Barriers.  The process of selecting and organizing symbols to represent a message requires skill and knowledge.  Obstacles listed below can interfere with an effective message. 1. Lack of Sensitivity to Receiver.  A breakdown in communication may result when a message is not adapted to its receiver.  Recognizing the receiver’s needs, status, knowledge of the subject, and language skills assists the sender in preparing a successful message.  If a customer is angry, for example, an effective response may be just to listen to the person vent for awhile.  2. Lack of Basic Communication Skills.  The receiver is less likely to understand the message if the sender has trouble choosing the precise words needed and arranging those words in a grammatically-correct sentence.  3. Insufficient Knowledge of the Subject.  If the sender lacks specific information about something, the receiver will likely receive an unclear or mixed message.  Have you shopped for an item such as a computer, and experienced how some salespeople can explain complicated terms and ideas in a simple way?  Others cannot. 4. Information Overload.  If you receive a message with too much information, you may tend to put up a barrier because the amount of information is coming so fast that you may have difficulty comfortably interpreting that information.  If you are selling an item with twenty-five terrific features, pick two or three important features to emphasize instead of overwhelming your receiver (ho-hum) with an information avalanche. 5. Emotional Interference.  An emotional individual may not be able to communicate well.  If someone is angry, hostile, resentful, joyful, or fearful, that person may be too preoccupied with emotions to receive the intended message.  If you don’t like someone, for example, you may have trouble “hearing” them. Transmitting Barriers: Things that get in the way of message transmission are sometimes called “noise.”  Communication may be difficult because of noise and some of these problems: 1. Physical Distractions.  A bad cellular phone line or a noisy restaurant can destroy communication.  If an E-mail message or letter is not formatted properly, or if it contains grammatical and spelling errors, the receiver may not be able to concentrate on the message because the physical appearance of the letter or E-mail is sloppy and unprofessional. 2. Conflicting Messages.  Messages that cause a conflict in perception for the receiver may result in incomplete communication.  For example, if a person constantly uses jargon or slang  to communicate with someone from another country who has never heard such expressions, mixed messages are  sure to result.  Another example of conflicting messages might be if a supervisor requests a report immediately without giving the report writer enough time to gather the proper information.  Does the report writer emphasize speed in writing the report, or accuracy in gathering the data? 3. Channel Barriers.  If the sender chooses an inappropriate channel of communication, communication may cease.  Detailed instructions presented over the telephone, for example, may be frustrating for both communicators.  If you are on a computer technical support help line discussing a problem, it would be helpful for you to be sitting in front of a computer, as opposed to taking notes from the support staff and then returning to your computer station. 4. Long Communication Chain.  The longer the communication chain, the greater the chance for error.  If a message is passed through too many receivers, the message often becomes distorted.  If a person starts a message at one end of a communication chain of ten people, for example, the message that eventually returns is usually liberally altered. Decoding Barriers.  The communication cycle may break down at the receiving end for some of these reasons: 1. Lack of  Interest.  If a message reaches a reader who is not interested in the message, the reader may read the message hurriedly or listen to the message carelessly.  Miscommunication may result in both cases. 2. Lack of  Knowledge. If a receiver is unable to understand a message filled with technical information, communication will break down.  Unless a computer user knows something about the Windows environment, for example, the user may have difficulty organizing files if given technical instructions.  3. Lack of Communication Skills.  Those who have weak reading and listening skills make ineffective receivers.  On the other hand, those who have a good professional vocabulary and who concentrate on listening, have less trouble hearing and interpreting good communication.   Many people tune out who is talking and mentally rehearse what they are going to say in return.  We’ll see some techniques for improving listening skills in Chapter 2.  4. Emotional Distractions.  If emotions interfere with the creation and transmission of a message, they can also disrupt reception.  If you receive a report from your supervisor regarding proposed changes in work procedures and you do not particularly like your supervisor, you may have trouble even reading the report objectively.  You may read, not objectively, but to find fault.  You may misinterpret words and read negative impressions between the lines.  Consequently, you are likely to misunderstand part or all of the report. 5. Physical Distractions.  If a receiver of a communication works in an area with bright lights, glare on computer screens, loud noises,  excessively hot or cold work spaces, or physical ailments, that receiver will probably experience communication breakdowns on a regular basis.  Responding Barriers—The communication cycle may be broken if feedback is unsuccessful. 1.   No Provision for Feedback.  Since communication is a two-way process, the sender must search for a means of getting a response from the receiver.  If a team leader does not permit any interruptions nor questions while discussing projects, he may find that team members may not completely understand what they are to do.  Face-to-face oral communication is considered the best type of communication since feedback can be both verbal and nonverbal.  When two communicators are separated, care must be taken to ask for meaningful feedback. 2.   Inadequate Feedback.  Delayed or judgmental feedback can interfere with good communication.  If your supervisor gives you instructions in long, compound-complex sentences without giving you a chance to speak, you may pretend to understand the instructions just so you can leave the stress of the conversation.  Because you may have not fully understood the intended instructions, your performance may suffer.

The Seven Barriers of Communication

On 11 Jan, 2013 By Chris Smith

Most people would agree that communication between two individuals should be simple. It’s important to remember that there are differences between talking and communicating. When you communicate, you are successful in getting your point across to the person you’re talking to. When we talk, we tend to erect barriers that hinder our ability to communicate. There are seven of these types of barriers to effective communication.

1. Physical barriers are easy to spot – doors that are closed, walls that are erected, and distance between people all work against the goal of effective communication. While most agree that people need their own personal areas in the workplace, setting up an office to remove physical barriers is the first step towards opening communication. Many professionals who work in industries that thrive on collaborative communication, such as architecture, purposefully design their workspaces around an “open office” plan. This layout eschews cubicles in favor of desks grouped around a central meeting space. While each individual has their own dedicated work space, there are no visible barriers to prevent collaboration with their co-workers. This encourages greater openness and frequently creates closer working bonds.

2. Perceptual barriers, in contrast, are internal. If you go into a situation thinking that the person you are talking to isn’t going to understand or be interested in what you have to say, you may end up subconsciously sabotaging your effort to make your point. You will employ language that is sarcastic, dismissive, or even obtuse, thereby alienating your conversational partner. Think of movie scenarios in which someone yells clipped phrases at a person they believe is deaf. The person yelling ends up looking ridiculous while failing to communicate anything of substance.

3. Emotional barriers can be tough to overcome, but are important to put aside to engage in conversations. We are often taught to fear the words coming out of our own mouths, as in the phrase “anything you say can and will be used against you.” Overcoming this fear is difficult, but necessary. The trick is to have full confidence in what you are saying and your qualifications in saying it. People often pick up on insecurity. By believing in yourself and what you have to say, you will be able to communicate clearly without becoming overly involved in your emotions.

4. Cultural barriers are a result of living in an ever shrinking world. Different cultures, whether they be a societal culture of a race or simply the work culture of a company, can hinder developed communication if two different cultures clash. In these cases, it is important to find a common ground to work from. In work situations, identifying a problem and coming up with a highly efficient way to solve it can quickly topple any cultural or institutional barriers. Quite simply, people like results.

5. Language barriers seem pretty self-inherent, but there are often hidden language barriers that we aren’t always aware of. If you work in an industry that is heavy in jargon or technical language, care should be taken to avoid these words when speaking with someone from outside the industry. Without being patronizing, imagine explaining a situation in your industry to a child. How would you convey these concepts without relying on jargon? A clear, direct narrative is preferable to an incomprehensible slew of specialty terms.

6. Gender barriers have become less of an issue in recent years, but there is still the possibility for a man to misconstrue the words of a woman, or vice versa. Men and women tend to form their thoughts differently, and this must be taken into account when communicating. This difference has to do with how the brain of each sex is formed during gestation. In general, men are better at spatial visualization and abstract concepts such as math, while women excel at language-based thinking and emotional identification. However, successful professionals in highly competitive fields tend to have similar thought processes regardless of their gender.

7. Interpersonal barriers are what ultimately keep us from reaching out to each other and opening ourselves up, not just to be heard, but to hear others. Oddly enough, this can be the most difficult area to change. Some people spend their entire lives attempting to overcome a poor self-image or a series of deeply rooted prejudices about their place in the world. They are unable to form genuine connections with people because they have too many false perceptions blocking the way. Luckily, the cure for this is more communication. By engaging with others, we learn what our actual strengths and weaknesses are. This allows us to put forth our ideas in a clear, straightforward manner.

Communication is not a one-way street. To have others open up to you, you must be open yourself. By overcoming these barriers to communication, you can ensure that the statement you are making is not just heard, but also understood, by the person you are speaking with. In this way, you can be confident that your point has been expressed.

What is effective communication?

In the information age, we have to send, receive, and process huge numbers of messages every day. But effective communication is about more than just exchanging information; it's also about understanding the emotion behind the information. Effective communication can improve relationships at home, work, and in social situations by deepening your connections to others and improving teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust. Effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Effective communication skills #1: Listening

Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective communication. Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re communicating.

Effective listening can:

§  Make the speaker feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

§  Create an environment where everyone feels safe to express ideas, opinions, and feelings, or plan and problem solve in creative ways.

§  Save time by helping clarify information, avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.

§  Relieve negative emotions. When emotions are running high, if the speaker feels that he or she has been truly heard, it can help to calm them down, relieve negative feelings, and allow for real understanding or problem solving to begin.

Tips for effective listening

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, you can remember the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

§  Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

§  Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.

§  Avoid seeming judgmental. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely and profound connection with someone.

§  Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”

Effective communication skills #2: Nonverbal communication

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When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals. Wordless communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

§  You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.

§  You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

§  Practice observing people in public places, such as a shopping mall, bus, train, café, restaurant, or even on a television talk show with the sound muted. Observing how others use body language can teach you how to better receive and use nonverbal signals when conversing with others. Notice how people act and react to each other. Try to guess what their relationship is, what they’re talking about, and how each feels about what is being said.

§  Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.

§  Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how to deliver nonverbal communication

§  Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.

§  Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.

§  Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Effective communication skills #3: Managing stress

In small doses, stress can help you perform under pressure. However, when stress becomes constant and overwhelming, it can hamper effective communication by disrupting your capacity to think clearly and creatively, and act appropriately. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When stress strikes, you can’t always temper it by taking time out to meditate or go for a run, especially if you’re in the middle of a meeting with your boss or an argument with your spouse, for example. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available and engaged.

To deal with stress during communication:

§  Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?

§  Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.

§  Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths, clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

§  Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.

§  Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.

§  Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Effective communication skills #4: Emotional awareness

Learn to recognize & accept your emotions

Emotions play an important role in the way we communicate at home and work. It’s the way you feel, more than the way you think, that motivates you to communicate or to make decisions. The way you react to emotionally driven, nonverbal cues affects both how you understand other people and how they understand you. If you are out of touch with your feelings, and don’t understand how you feel or why you feel that way, you’ll have a hard time communicating your feelings and needs to others. This can result in frustration, misunderstandings, and conflict. When you don’t address what’s really bothering you, you often become embroiled in petty squabbles instead—arguing with your spouse about how the towels should be hung, for example, or with a coworker about whose turn it is to restock the copier.

Emotional awareness provides you the tools needed for understanding both yourself and other people, and the real messages they are communicating to you. Although knowing your own feelings may seem simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. But your ability to communicate depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on communicating only on a rational level, it will impair your ability to fully understand others, creatively problem solve, resolve conflicts, or build an affectionate connection with someone.

How emotional awareness can improve effective communication

Emotional awareness—the consciousness of your moment-to-moment emotional experience—and the ability to manage all of your feelings appropriately is the basis for effective communication.

Emotional awareness helps you:

§  Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other people

§  Understand yourself, including what’s really troubling you and what you really want

§  Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person you’re interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their message

§  Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering negative messages

§  Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think creatively, solve problems, and resolve conflicts